Dating a divorced man financially unstable
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Let’s say it’s in excellent shape and you’re getting a fantastic deal, but the back seat has some scratches and stains. Okay, now let’s say the paint on the passenger door is scratched, and there’s a ding on the rear fender. You want to feel loved and nurtured, and have someone who is receptive to your love and nurturance in return. And ideally, his presence would catalyze your growth towards an even better version of you.
We had been dating since September last year, he is 30 and I’m 25. the whole point of a relationship is for two people to practice being loving to one another and grow together in a way that they couldn’t do it on their own.
He is a wonderful human being and one of the most genuine kind hearted people ever to walk this planet (no joke, my guy friends tell ME I’m lucky to have found him!
) But I’m 33 and looking for long term stability and although he has everything I want in a man mentally and physically…he’s not financially stable (and we all know this is a huuuuge issue and one of the main causes for divorces, etc). His family never pushed him to finish school or let him know of all the opportunities that this world has to offer — my family completely opposite.
On the other end of the spectrum resides the “don’t hit on 20” rule, as propounded by my good man Evan Marc Katz.
The idea is that in a game of 21 or blackjack, getting cards that add up to 20 is a pretty good result.
He didn’t finish his BA (one year left) and he had an hourly job for 8 years (never once asked his boss for a raise).
That was until he met me…I encouraged him and pushed him out of the comfort zone which was so foreign to him.
I’ve pasted my response just as I sent it to her, no fancy caps or nuffin’: Hello Dr Ali — I have just broken up with my boyfriend because he has a short temper and I think I am really sensitive about this because my father was verbally and physically abusive towards my mother.
When he gets upset or starts swearing I feel myself shutting down and he complains that I don’t communicate with him.
sounds like your fella’s temper here prevents these things from happening.
also, you’ve just got to know what your dealbreakers are.
But I do want to make you aware of what your dealbreakers are.